Advocates of Love Project

We Struggle, We learn, We Grow... -Tom Fritts

2010-01-27T14:44:00.001-08:00

(Sometimes someone else’s story helps ours. A confusing young life can lead u to be a stronger person. There is more to a person then what you see on the outside. Things will happen in a persons life to make them the person they are. Why do we forget that? -Chris.)

We Struggle, We learn, We Grow, and We can be stronger because of it.

By Tom Fritts

I guess I don’t really know why I’m writing this. When Chris asked me to write for this page I didn’t know exactly what to write about. So what the hell, ill give it a try.
My life was pretty normal as a kid, hanging out with friends, legos, camping with the family, fishing trips. It seemed like a great start. Then age 14 hit. My father lost his job so he and my mom both started working day jobs. So money quickly became tight and tensions grew. I started isolating myself from the family, going to friends places all the time. By the time I hit 16 I started hanging out with the older kids some even in college. I experimented with alcohol and drugs. Constantly coming home late with a buzz on or skipping class. By this time I was trying to see where I stood even sexually. I guess I always knew I was different. My parents saw texts from a guy I was interested in on my phone and without me knowing started watching more closely. Sure enough they caught me with someone. Immediately they decided they needed to “fix” me. 3 times a week I had to meet with someone at a local church and talk about how im sinning and that I’m basically going to hell. Personally I never have believed in God. I believe in the science of evolution. So I just thought this lady was freakin’ nuts. Plus I had to waste a perfectly good Thursday night with her every week. I started skipping the meetings too, I hated that my home was so disapproving of me. So I went out even more. Going to college parties and trying anything my friends would hand me. I was actually having a good time with them. They didn’t give a crap what my sexuality or beliefs were. By the time I was 17 almost 18, my father kicked me out of the house when he caught me smoking in the bathroom with my friend.
I packed my things and moved into the basement of my friends place. It was a bit skechy but his mom was the sweetest person I ever met, she encouraged me to apply to schools, told me about industrial design, and told me that I had a natural talent for the career. Once I moved to NYC and started school here at the art institute I made my new family, my friends.. I couldn’t ask for more. Yeah maybe it’s a bit dysfunctional, but their all I have they support me, love me and care for me. We go out we party, concerts, prank and all the other stuff that people would see as trouble or “bad Kids”. Maybe I did make bad decisions. But I never would have done differently if I had another chance.
I try to call my home once a month, but usually I never get an answer.. so I leave a voice mail just talking about how my life is going. I know my mom loves me so much. And she always has. And god I miss her so much. I wish she stood up to my father and told me I could have stayed. I also talked to my younger sister regularly. She means the world to me, and she always will. Now that she’s gone. I have realized. Life is so short. And I’m not about to change for anyone.
I am happy with myself. Some may be disappointed or feel pity on my past, but I’m happy it happened. I could never be here right now. I’d rather not have life be easy. I’m so over people judging me and telling me how to live. That’s up to me. I don’t wanna deal with regrets when I’m older. I wanna do what I want now. Sometimes that’s where love starts. loving and accepting yourself.

Live life.. no regrets..

Tommy Fritts

The Common Cold

2010-01-25T12:28:00.000-08:00

1. Where is the first character supposed to be? The first characters and all the characters are residents in a cold fictional town.

2. Is there a spiritual side about this? Yes. The town is cold because of their selfishness and they try to get warmth from blankets but it ends up not curing them, but actually making them more selfish.

3. Is it from a Bible verse? There are certain parts that were directly inspired by Luke 3:11-13, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." (the guy with a drawer full of gloves even though his neighbor has none, etc) and "Don't collect any more than you are required to" (the blanket salesmen)

4. When/where did you come up with the concept? There is a song called "A Comet Appears" by the Shins, and in that song there is a line that says "there is a numbness in your heart and it's growing", from that I started thinking about how numb we can be to loving people, sometimes we feel really compelled to love but then we bury it with something else, which makes our numbness grow. We distract ourselves from our true needs. Kind of like when we feel lonely we buy things for ourselves, instead of hanging out with people, we self-indulge, which makes us only more lonely.

5. What kind of camera did you use? I used a HVX-200, I borrowed it from The Red House arts theater, they are a Syracuse arts theater that helped me out so much with equipment.

6. Did you have help writing/brainstorming about it? Anything I write I run by friends and just telling them a verbal story helps out so much, but there are a few friends that really give some awesome advice so I call them all the time.

7. Whos' the older guy supposed to represent? The guy shoveling snow? He represents everyone's neighbor, the neighbor Jesus tells us to love. He has a need, and the first character sees that need, but decides he likes to keep his gloves for himself.

8. The guy stops when he comes out of the house, was he planning on shoveling and then saw the older guy and changed his mind? The first character leaves the house so he can meet the truck at the lot, on his way out he sees the shoveling neighbor and thinks about helping him but sees the truck and realizes that he doesn't have the time.

9. Were they expecting clothes or actually expecting blankets? They were expecting blankets. I didn't successfully establish that that box truck coming through town is a routine for them, they are used to following it to the parking lot.

10. Did they expect to pay for it? They did. If you notice the first guy that pays had money ready, but it ended up being more expensive than he was used to.

11. Is the house a metaphor/symbol for something else? The house is just a house, but in this story houses don't provide the warmth you expect from a house. Some people buy the nicest houses, with the nicest heaters and nicest carpets, but don't have any warmth in the house and it still doesn't feel like home. So in this film I wanted to show that if the cold is in their hearts, all the blankets and houses in the world won't warm them up.

12. Is the cost of comfort killing us? Sometimes, yes. Leaving a comfort zone is how you experience life. You cannot experience a roller coaster if you are too comfortable on the ground. And you won't experience the outdoors if you are too comfortable on the couch. This happens spiritually all the time, if we are too comfortable with what we know about Jesus, we don't challenge what we know to learn a bit more.

13. Do people think to much about their own comfort? I think so.

14. What are the blankets supposed to represent in the video? The blankets represent something different for each viewer. Some think they are drugs, TV, money, food and anything else. I think of them as addictions we have, they are different to each viewer. But the main point is they are just a quick distraction from their real need.

15. If we learned to show love more would the "coldness" go away? The people that don't love in real life are the ones that seem the most miserable and cold. The people that know how to love their neighbor because God, love himself is showing them, that is when you find someone with true joy.

16. How can we make the "cold" around us go away? I think we need to realize that all the blankets in our life are just distractions and turn away from them.

17. Is cold representive of Hate or loneliness in this video? I think selfishness is why we hate and hating is why we are lonely. I see hate/loneliness/selfishness in the same boat. There is a song by 4:37 called "Samuel's Son" in that song there is a line I think applies, "is it possible that loneliness is just a tomb, a symptom of our separation from you?". He is referring to separation from God. I think we all were born into a separation from God, just like cold is a just a lack of warmth, hate is a just a lack of love, the God that says 'I am love' we are separate from, we lack him, so selfishness is the lack of that love. Hate and love can't come out of the same source. If we lack true love and joy and we know it, I think it's important to face it instead of distract ourselves from that desire.

18. How long did it take to film? It took 4 days to film. The main shoot with all the extras took 12 hours in -10 degree weather, (it got colder when the sun went down).

19. How long did the whole production take? I released it one year after writing the script. I had the first draft edited within a month of the last day of shooting. It ended up taking a year because there was no budget, it literally cost me $50 bucks to make, (we had to fill the gas tank in the box truck), everything else in the film from cameras, to camera-cranes, to actors, extras and everything else were friends and family wanting to help out. Since the composer is a professional producer/sound engineer, and I couldn't pay him, he had to make the music when he wasn't working on other jobs. What also took time was that I have learned a ton about storytelling after I wrote this so I tried to fix a lot of the plot holes in the editing. I also had to color correct and other things. The composer, Elias Gwinn, finished that awesome score a long time ago, but I wanted to have real violins replace the midi/fake violin sounds, because we just had the midi violins as a temporary solution, but it got to a point where I though, "I need to release this film before it's out-dated on the things I have learned about storytelling and filmmaking". So I released it, nearly one year to the day from the first day of shooting.

20. What are the pictures near the end of the video that are covered up? The blankets on the wall arm attempts to insulate the house. In those attempts to warm things up they are separating themselves from their family photos and love. They are forgetting the memory of warmth and togetherness in attempts to warm up the house.

21. When they're covered up does it represent what we do with our loved ones sometimes, we shut them out? Yes, Exactly.

22. Do you think everyone will understand it? I don't, I think of 'The Common Cold' as a parable, Jesus told a bunch of parables and a lot of people didn't understand them, they had to ask him "what did you mean by that?". In Luke 8:9-10 The disciples asked Jesus what his parable meant and Jesus said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, " 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand." I don't want my films to be spoon fed, there have been a percentage of people that don't understand any of this film, I think there are a lot of storytelling flaws that I could have improved and it's not the best told story, but I also think that some people don't understand it because they don't try to understand it. We have stopped thinking about the things in our lives. I think everything in our lives is a lesson but we don't see the lessons sometimes, we just see it as a tree or a squirrel or a rainstorm. All of Jesus' parables might make a good story to just listen to, but then you can think about it and it means so much more, and you can keep thinking about it and the metaphors he uses just expand when you allow them to.

23. Why do you think we search for comfort in material things? Sometimes when we have certain things it makes us feel like we are doing something right. Like, "I have a nice car, I must be doing something right".

24. Where should we go for such comfort? Sometimes the most cliché answers are the right ones, this answer is no exception. Jesus Christ. If you are Christian or not, I think we need to start learning who the real Jesus Christ is, not the PG version that we have made him out to be. Knowing him for who he really is, will rock our world.

25. How do we look for it? Seek truth and you will find him. Be honest with yourself. Are you comfortable with who you see Jesus as? or are you trying to get to know who he really is?

Real Life Does Happen

2010-01-25T11:58:00.000-08:00

I am writing this blog backstage at a concert on the Willet 2010 New Zealand Tour. As I read the purpose for “The Advocates of Love Project”, I realized that I had an opportunity to truthfully share my experience over the past week as a Christian artist. As a band, and in my life personally, I have always tried to be transparent on stage, off stage, and through our websites / social networks online. For one, as a Christian I think that we have that responsibility to be genuine, and two, I think its vital to share the “highs” and “lows” of life in community with other believers. Many fans of Christian music make the mistake of assuming artists “have it all together” just because someone straps on a guitar, sits behind a drum set, or steps on stage at a “Christian event”.

This is far from the truth.

Every tour, and specifically, every show, I do attempt to be open to God’s will for that moment, and respond as I feel His leading. Some nights, I feel as though there is a tremendous connection and it is very clear as to how God is using Willet. Other nights, I take the stage and quite honestly, am broken. I’m broken because each show for me is an emotional battle because of what Willet stands for. Getting on stage each night in a different city and sharing about poverty around the world can easily become “routine”, and in fact, last year, during our Christmas tour, I fell into a pattern when I spoke where I didn’t actually “feel” the burden anymore. I would get up and present the stories, share the statistics, and ask for people to respond. People did respond, and great things happened for children living in poverty! But, I refuse to let speaking about children in poverty come across as a “commercial” or “promotion” of some sort.

This is real life.

Because this is real life, and because poverty does kill thousands every day, I needed to make sure that it was personal again for me. On January 12th, 2010, God broke me down in a way that I wish to never experience again.
As a band, we were in New Zealand enjoying an off day with some friends we met. They invited us on a 9 hour hike on a mountain summit, and we accepted. As we were down to the last 3 hours of this journey, we received a call. It was a friend of ours back in Auckland that just heard news that a massive 7.0 earthquake had just hit Haiti, and leveled the country.
My heart sank.

My wife moved to Haiti as a full-time missionary back in November of 2009. She was living in an orphanage during the time of the earthquake.
I was helpless. I wanted to get on a plane and fly to Haiti right away to make sure she was OK, but no one could get in or out of Haiti for several days, including relief groups. For 2 1/2 days, I waited anxiously to hear if my wife had survived the earthquake. I didn’t sleep at night, had trouble eating, and tried to ask God, “Why?”. Finally, through a string of short text messages, my family back in the states heard that Kathleen and all the children survived, and were currently sleeping in tents!

The next day, we took the stage for a small festival we were headlining in Levin, New Zealand for 500 people. In the middle of our set, I shared the emotional story of the Haiti earthquake, and gave glory to God that my wife and the orphans were OK. I shared from stage that it was really difficult for me to take the stage that night knowing that my wife was surrounded by death and destruction. I expressed my feelings towards the fact that over 200,000 people were killed within hours of a natural disaster, and how I was broken. I asked people that night that if they didn’t know Jesus as their Savior, that they needed to repent and invite Jesus into their hearts.
That night, 12 people trusted Jesus as their Savior!

On this tour in New Zealand, I do not have it all together. I am broken. I am confused. I wish I could be in Haiti helping…But, God is still moving and changing lives through that brokenness. I am about to take the stage in front of several hundred people tonight. I will do the same tomorrow night. In a few days, I’ll get on stage at Parachute Festival with Switchfoot, Underoath, and Leeland in front of thousands of people. Each night will be an incredible opportunity to share about Jesus, and what He has and is doing in the lives of people around the world. God can use our brokenness for good. He is sovereign and He is listening to our every cry for help.

Many of the Haitians following the earthquake said it was as if, “Hell came up”. Our response to their situation will determine whether or not they feel “Heaven came down”.

If you don’t know Jesus, put your trust in Him.

- Jeremy Willet (lead singer for Willet, co-author of carried.)

Moved to Tumblr

2010-01-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

we've moved to Tumblr..

http://advocatesoflove.tumblr.com/

Bekahs' thoughts on Christmas :)

2009-12-21T00:04:00.001-08:00

Luke 1:39-45
In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. 28 Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you![d]”

Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel[e] forever; his Kingdom will never end!”

Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.”

The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she’s now in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.[f]”

Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.

I read this part of the Christmas story and think about how it be like if an angel came to me and told me this.Would I replied like Mary or said no way Jose?I tend to wonder how Mary was feeling.God has this planned out for her which reassures me that he has a plan for me also.Even if I don't see it God knows exactly what he is doing. When God calls you to do something what do you say? Is your response the same as Mary's or different?
Luke 2:1-7
At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant.

And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

God choose to have his song born in a manger.I love this thought.Also he choose ordinary people to raise Christ.God chooses ordinary people for great things.Like mission work or Christian service.God uses anyone willing.I know I feel pretty ordinary myself.Anyone can do extraordinary things for God.So this Christmas when you are unwrapping gifts,eating or doing whatever else don't forget about Christ and how you can serve others.

Virgin isn’t a dirty word!

2009-09-28T18:15:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite poems is “The boobie poem” by Bradley Hathaway. It talks about how well I’ll let you read it for yourself.

I’m 22 years old and I have never touched a girls boobies on purpose before. Just once on accident about a year ago at a rock show, it was dark and I couldn't really see which way to go. Walking with my arms out in front and my elbows slightly bent (I don’t normally walk like this) but it must have been destiny this night I guess, and before I knew it my palms were pressed on her chest, 2 handfuls full of soft fresh breast. But that was on accident so it really doesn't count.

I have never seen a girl’s boobies in real life on purpose before except for my mom and sisters but that doesn't count does it?

So if I have never seen them or touched them you’re probably thinking I'm a virgin right? Yea, yea correct assumption I am, but now your like whoa wait a minute he’s 22 fairly good looking, if he tried hard enough he could get some right?

So maybe your thinking �yea I’m kind of skinny, maybe I'm a little insecure, maybe I’m worried about my manhood, my measurements being a little too small but that is not the case I assure all of yell. I've measured it before and I am about the same as all of you guys with the Caucasian persuasion so mere mathematics doesn't even fit into the equation.

But maybe that is still not it, maybe your thinking he's kind of girly, got the long hair going, maybe he doesn't like girls and likes entrances in the backdoor.
NO WAY JOSE
I mean I am not homophobic I can say if a guy is hot or not like that actor dude Vin Diesel.
Sure he is hot but I don’t want home’s lips blowing on my whistle.

I'm just a simple dude that thinks sex is special between two people.
One man and one woman in the boundaries of marriage, and when I find the girl that is to be my one its with her to our hidden bed we will run, oh we will have lots of fun together the creator will praise and not shun but only after the exchange of vowels and the blessing of the sun will our lives be physically intertwined as one.
Our love making will resound with the loudest ringing and burst through the ceiling and begin ascending into heaven with the angels rejoicing and singing.
God smiling down upon us through our humping true worship resonated,
yea so much more than empty friction will be making but gifts saved in treasured for one another in the exchanging my body her body ours and ours alone for the taking.
In these moments will be the closest intimacy between 2 people possible and for me to do it outside of god’s way doesn't seem causable, to do so would to throw away part of my soul with the girl that was never meant to know that part of me.

But for those of you that have done so know how it feels and goes when that boy or girl you just did is long gone leaving you with a sad song hurting hearts.
You can be made new, poke a teeny tiny hole in your heart for him to shine his light through and you will be made as bright white and as dove take flight around this guilt that has interloped itself around your soul so tightly.

When I first heard this poem I was blown away. I am a simple girl who thinks that sex is special between one man and one women under the bounds of marriage. I’m 26 years old and I’m a….wait for it…wait for it….. VIRGIN!!! Dun dun dun,. And the crowd goes silent, lol. Yet I’m 100% okay with it! That is the way God intended for it to be . I’m not married and I have every intention on WAITING for my husband.

It breaks my heart when I see girl throwing away this precious gift that God has given us. I understand that things happen and people mess up, but know that the beauty of life is that is starts over everyday. You can choose at any given moment to start over!

I wear a purity ring and tell people when they ask me what it means, Yes I get a lot of weird looks and laughs but that’s fine. So I guess this blog is just to encourage every girl out there to hold on to your virginity. Save it for your husband. Trust me it will be worth the wait.

Until next time..

In Christ.

Jess.

City On Our Knees

2009-08-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty dedicated to helping heal the hurting world. Starting with the Youth/Teens. Most peole are hurting because of lies they have believed since they were young. It all needs to be rebuked and destroyed. God loves you! He accepts you! He Likes you. Just the way you are. I don't know how many people I talk/type at that feel like everyone hates them because of a few negative people in their lives. You need to RISE above that. Take Gods' hand and let him show you how much you are Loved. Kids I wasn't dealt a great hand either. I was sexually molested for years by my adoptive Father. That's not the real view of what a father should be. Father God is Holy. He loves you, He made you.. He hasn't left your side. All you have to do is turn to meet him and He's right there. I can help you see Gods' love. I know how infinite His love is. God is NOT prejudice. He loves you no matter what color, race, religion, sexual orientation, political views, or any other thing that would make you think God doesn't love you. God doesn't hold the junk of your past against you. He wouldn't know how to, He's that forgiving! We need to learn to be a "City On Our Knees" for each other-praying being there for each other, being the shoulder that ANYONE can lean on(not just your close friends). We need to learn to be there for each other. We have to start showing Jesus, The Real Jesus. Jesus was caring, loving, and non-judgmental. He knew Gods' heart because He studied his Father growing up. We should be doing the same thing. Study Jesus, Would he have told someone who is a different sexual preference that they're going to Hell? NO. he wouldn't Check yourself Christians! Check yourselves before You wreck yourselves. Watch what God your showing people, because if you're doing that, You ARE NOT showing My God to people. So your question is, Does God love me, even though im....?

Yes... He Does.

You can't expect God to help you when you have rejected Him Your whole life. But you do have to ask for His Help, He did after all gave us free will, He's not going to force Himself on you. Bu when you do finally turn and say "God I need you." He will show up, He will be there.

Because one day we will ALL bow before God The Father.

Be Radiators,
Chris

Walking in Love

2009-08-19T08:26:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been learning more and more about Gods' love for us and showing others how much God loves them. But the thing is .. as Christians we're supposed to Walk in love..

back in 1992 Dc Talk came out with a song called Luv is a Verb. The dictionary defines love and a Noun. From elementray school we should all remember that a noun means it's a person, place, or thing. right? That's not how God sees the word love. And neither should Chrisitans. (or people in general)

There are so many christians that walk around giving hatred a name. Telling people that they are going to hell for something that they don't feel is right. Or turning their back on a friend for a little stupid reason. So we realize what we're doing to these people? Do we realize that as "ambassadors of Christ" we're showing them that's what Jesus would do?

Jesus would NEVER EVER tell someone who has chosen the life of being gay,, that they're going to Hell.. If you don't believe me.. Read the Bible! IF you come up with a verse that says and Jesus condemned them to hell becuase of their sin... You show me.

Walking in Love means soo much more than saying "I love you." Words are absolutely meaningliess without action. Jesus did the ultimate "action" of love by taking all our sin upon himself and dieing in place of us.. going to hell in place of us and in turn closing the door on death (Hell) itself.

We have a hard time walking in love because of our judgmental spirits. We want to show up others and make our selves feel better when we see someone else doing wrong. We want hurt them before they can hurt us. This is human nature(the flesh). We some times can't help ourselves but look at someone and automatically think they're bad or horrible.

Walking in Love takes, Courage, Courage to see someone the way God created them. Remember that God created everyone so if he Created everyone and He loves them and accepts them just the way they are, shouldn't we?

We want to "fix" everyone that we see. We see something wrong with them and want to change it. That's not the way Jesus taught us to love people. Jesus was never negative and He never nit picked. If he did it's not in the Bible If it's not in the Bible, we shouldn't make it up either.

Showing people Love isn't easy, especially if you don't get that Love is bigger than we are. It existed before any of us did and it will exist long after we're gone.

I have learned that loving others means accepting them just the way they are. Doing any less than that would be holding yourself higher than that person. Think about it you look at someone and say to yourself that person is not christian, or that person is not a good person..
Number one you're judging them before you even get to know them.
Number two you're looking at yourself and saying i would not be like that person..i'm better..

Sounds absolutely ridiculous.. but I do it too. You see someones problem and think.. HA I don't have that problem!

Heres' the deal ... You have other problems! Walking in love is about realizing that. Realizing that we all to through things and can learn from them. Someone may be on the road to "destruction" in your mind when in Gods mind He wants them to learn something to become stronger to see things from a different perspective than we do so they can help others.

Being there for each other= Walking in love. No matter who they are, where they're from, what they do, Be there!

Lifting each other up= Walking in Love. Yes... that person that you do not like who tells you they dream of being a super star...Encourage them... IF they're truly good enough (which brings me to the next point...)

Telling each other the tough truth= Walking in Love. Dreaming of a supersat and not having the talent to do it... You need to tell them that. but tell it to them with love in your voice.

Not being condesending= Walking in love. You tell someone they're not superstar material, in a way they understand why you're saying it. You don't want people to be set up to fail or fall.

Understanding each other= Walking in Love. Realizing that people come from different places then we do. They have different ideas about things because they had a different life and learned different things we did.

Tough love is probably the hardest love to give. We can't exactly give tough love to people we don't know. Tough love should be given to family members (that you know well) and friends. Don't walk up to someone you do not know, call them out on something (that you're not sure about) and call it tough love.

When you grow up in a Christian home, you have everything you could ask for, you have love in your home, you weren't abused, you got great grades and you're at a job that you like. You're not a partier and you pretty much found the right person for yourself. You see someone that is totally opposite where you are and automatically think awful of them.

Maybe they didn't have it as easy as you! You have had positive your whole life! you just bragged to them how well you had it. Walking in love would've been you realizing that they may not have had the life that you had. Maybe you could learn something from them.

We were all made differently, all made to see things in dfferent ways to learn from each other and to grow. We should want each other to be our best. The best we we can be! I'm not perfect I still have issues with walking in love but I want to be able to try and love everyone and see them for the person that God created them as.

Walking in love is about bringing out the best in people, not pushing past mistakes and screw ups into peoples faces. Moving on and letting go. That's what true love is all about..

Be Radiators,
Chris

"Love is patien Love is Kind, no words of envy true love is blind. Love is God that sent His son, Love forgives all we have done. Love knows when to let go. Love knows when to say no. Love goes in the light of the son and love shows the world that the Son of love has come."

I would rather be in God's will with nothing, than out of it with everything.

2009-08-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hot Jesus loving husband.

2.5 kids ( .5 being a dog)

Cute little starter home

2 cars in the drive way

Great job that I loved

Living in Florida

Out of God’s will.

That is just a little bit of what I thought my life would be like when I was 25. And now here I am 25 turning 26 next month and my life couldn't’t be further away from that list. I always wondered what people meant when they said God will give you the desires of you heart. Seeing as though, I really truly desire those things, but yet I have none of them. It took me a while to realize that God really does give you the desires of your heart, because when you think about it, your one main desire should be to be in HIS will. So if we are living in his will all that comes with it should be our desires (make sense?) I have learned that I need to be content in all situations that God places before me. Even if I’m not in the most comfortable situations. Lately my life has been like a roller coaster, and not the fun kind. The kind that when you buckle the safety belt you really don’t feel safe. The kind when you go upside down you can feel yourself rising out of the seat and it makes you want to throw up. The kind that when your friends say “ hey let’s go on this one, you politely decline and say I’ll meet you at the end.” Is my life perfectly how I planned it out right now. No! BUT. I know that God is preparing greatness for me, and that is really all that matters.

Single

3 amazing nephews

Moving back home with parents while I’m in school

Car that I can barely make the payments for

Job I hate

Living in Georgia

In God’s will.

All in all at the end of the day I’d rather be in God’s will with nothing, then out of God’s will with everything, even a hot husband.

Thank-you for reading.

In Christ,

Jessica.

Fear

2009-07-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

I have been learning a lot lately about letting go of your fears. Trusting that God has your back.
I recently went back to school. After eight years of being out of high school. I was really afraid of going back to school. I had a fear that what happened in high school would happen again. When I was in high school I would get up for school and be all set for the day. When I would get to the door I would Freeze up . I would start shaking and crying and didn’t know what was going on with me. This kept happing through out my high school years. In my senior year of high school I went to a physiologist. He diagnosed me with Anxiety/Depression symptoms. I was able to get on medication that would help me handle the Anxiety symptoms. I went on to graduate high school.
Eight years later after deciding to open my heart to Jesus. I decided I would like to get back to school and become a nurse. I been thinking about it for a long time. I would always get this horrible fear that my anxiety would get the best of me. So I never went through with going back. I started praying that God would help me find the strength inside me to over come my fear of anxiety. I would pray about it just about every night.
Couple months ago I decided to go ahead and steep out of my comfortable zone. I decided to fill out a application for college. when I got accepted I started getting nervous about going back.
I have to take a pre Math class that started about three weeks ago. when I went to class the first day I was a lil nervous. I said Lord please help me find the strength to over come my fear. When I got to the class the teacher was so nice and down to earth. All my fears went away. I truly believe that was Gods way of helping me get through the first big steep. I still have a ways to go before i’m all the way over my fear . But i’m defantley on my way.
If anyone has questions about Anxiety or Depression. you can reach us at 7ishprayerforce@gmail.com

Integrating The Vinners and The 7ish Project

2009-07-27T13:50:00.001-07:00

Some of you aren't sure what The Vinners means or what it is exactly. I started The Vinners back in 2007 for the band Family Force 5. It was just a fan site back than and only a few people were a part of it. I wanted to support the guys of FF5 because the three brothers in the band are a huge part of the reason I'm alive today. Back in 1994 They were in a little boy group called "The Brothers" and a song that they did back than saved my life in 1995. I was on the verge of committing suicide at 15 and when I played and listened to "Hide Me Away" by them it brought me to tears and I realized that God was there with arms open. It was powerful for me.
I'm a firm believer that Music helps save lives. That music can change a mind and that it can embrace someone in a magical hug and comfort people. This site has grown since than and I'm very appreciative of the support I get from a bunch of you!
I also have a heart to be there for you guys. I don't want "The Vinners" to be just about FF5. I'm here for you guys too. I know some of us go through things that we don't feel we can talk to people about. I went through it growing up. I did not have anyone to talk to when I was growing up about what I was going through. My dad molested me for 8 years and no one that I did tell believed me. Finally in 1997 I got the courage up to tell a teacher (after my mother died) and since than I have been on the road to becoming the woman that God wants me to be. Even if you need to vent about something. I'm here. Please check out my project. www.the7ishproject.blogspot.com
I want to let you guys know that The Vinners is about showing people what FF5 is up to but it's also about showing Gods' love in a way that Jesus taught us to show His love. By being a friend to people and being there for each other. In the Bible it tells us in Romans 8:37 that we are more than Conquerers through Him. We are WINNERS!! And to tie in my project with that.... 7 is said to be the number of Completeness or Wholeness and 8 is said to be the number of New Beginnings. I believe that some of our situations are keeping us back from being complete or whole and therefore keeping us from starting new and fresh. Sometimes we need to Overcome some situations until we can start a new. I pray that with my vision we can help others to see a situation in a "simpler" way and try to solve it. Not all of our problems are as big as we see them in the natural and I hope to help people break down things so we can all be VINNERS and turn that 7 into an 8in our lives! :)
Love you all!Chris
Here is the really real show I got the Vinners from:

E.R.A.C.E The HATE

2009-07-25T23:04:00.001-07:00

Forgive us for our past sins.. :(

Michael Jackson..Where is he now?

2009-07-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

just so everyone knows....Michael Accepted Christ(with a pastor that is friends with the gospel group Mary Mary) as his Lord and Saviour 3 weeks before he died. :) But the things Ray talks about in this video.. ARE still truth!

Self Esteem and Gods' Love

2009-07-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

(From Isaac Deitz)

Chris asked me to write a blog about the question, "what should we base our self-esteem on?".
It has been two months since she has asked me and I will be honest I wasn't entirely thrilled on the subject, maybe because I thought the answer would be to basic and simple or whatever else. Maybe it's the kind of subject in Christianity that doesn't interest me as much as God's love, human interaction, our calling and many others. Because I am more interested in other things I don't seem to know much about this question. But I thought it would be fun to write about because I feel that God teaches me most when I write.
So I guess the short cliche answer would be "Jesus". Which sounds so 'bumper sticker', serviced answer, an answer that wouldn't seem to come out of theologians and philosophers mouths. But what I have been learning most recently is that a true philosopher and theologian would answer this exact way, even if it's the sunday school answer.
"Christians find it easier to believe that God exist than that God loves them" -Basil Hume
That quote needs to be read again. This has been changing my thinking. Though I truly believe that God loves me, I really haven't let it hit me. It's so much deeper than the bumper sticker or bracelet that says "God loves you". I think where we have a hard time believing this is, that God still loves us even in our worst state. When we sin, we think God hates us, then we start to hate ourselves, then we fall into the trap of just not trying anymore.
There are two different little league coaches, the ones that scream at you, threaten you and insult you and there are the ones that watch you mess up and teach you. God is the second one.
Here is what happens when we sin. Any and every sin is just a failure to Love God or Love people. Just as it's impossible to love your brother and steal from him at the same time. You may love him, but when you steal from him, that is when you loved yourself more. Now God is Love, so anytime we step away from love, we are stepping away from God and towards selfishness/pride. This is why the Bible says that Sin separates us from God. But no matter how much sin or hate we had or have in our lives, we need to realize that God loves us, and longs to be with us. But we cannot be with Him and still have hate. That is why we need to repent. We need to believe that God loves us and that belief makes us repent and want to change.
I had a best friend that I worked with, went to church with and went on road trips with. We hung out every waking day, just laughing and talking and joking and whatever else. He grew up in a notoriously judging church, that actually kicked him out of the church and made it against the law for him and half of the youth group to enter church grounds. This church kicked out parents and kids for the smallest things. My friend got detention three times for saying "wiz" as referring to peeing. Anyway, my friend joined the Army and we said goodbye but looked forward to hanging out more in the future. In his service he got his girlfriend pregnant and they both moved in the same house in New Orleans. I haven't talked to him sense. He won't return my phone calls, my messages, my emails or anything else. I got ahold of him once and put him on the guest list for a Family Force 5 show and he said he was going to come, and I kept asking the ticket booth if anyone claimed his tickets. Now his past upbringing gave him this mentality that everyone is judging him and if he does or did something wrong that he could never get out of that. He thinks that if I hang out with him I am going to preach to him, judge him, or even just look down on him. He's forgotten all the secrets he has told me of things he was ashamed of that didn't even make me flinch or change my love towards him. If I was to tell him one thing, or show him one thing is that I love him, I truly miss his friendship, I would love to hang out again and meet his kid and girlfriend. The fact that the baby is out of wedlock doesn't even faze me. I think if we could be friends again, my love for him would be a good influence on him, but it cannot do anything until he realizes that I truly care for him.
God doesn't hate us after we sin, he just says, "you just left me, but come back to me", then we sin again and he says, "you just left me, but come back to me" and again and again.
To believe in Jesus for me means to believe that God loves us. That God loved us enough when we were still sinners and even when we still sin, to send his son to show his love. Think about who Jesus hung out with, it was the people that didn't believe they earned God's love, but the people that just believed God loved them. The pharisees and self-righteous are the ones that believe they earned God's love at one point or are still earning it.
Jesus came for the sinners, not the self-righteous.
I didn't realize what it meant to be self-righteous until recently. I always thought it meant that you believe you are doing everything right. Which is kind of true, but it's believing that you earned God's love. Which would include believing that we have to earn God's love. Which both aren't true at all.
The sinners are the ones that believe and know God loves them, regardless of what they did, and they realize they are sinners, which allows us to understand grace.
If someone told a pharisee that Jesus loved them, they would think "well of course he does, why shouldn't he, I do great things". But it's when we believe that we are sinners, that we haven't done a thing to earn God's love, then learn that God loves us. It's when we learn and believe both is when we experience a life-changing grace that makes us want to serve Him and play in His baseball team.
It's then, when we want to truly make Him proud.
your friend,
-Isaac

Refocusing

2009-07-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

So Hi I'm Koli this is my first blog for the 7ish and I hope it ministers to you...I right my blogs straight out of the pages of my life so if God's showing me something I want to share it with you incase your going through something similar so enjoy!Jeremiah 29:11-13For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.It never ceases to amaze me how caught up in life I can get even though I've given my life to the one who gave his for me. I still at times manage to push God into the corner because I think I can figure out his will for me on my own...dumb I know...I can't even get up on time without the help of my alarm. Yet I think I can figure out God and his will for me? I get so invested in things that I forget who's really in the captians chair and I get myself over concerned with situations that are out of my control. I'll spend my time thinking of what MY next logical step should be. Even if it's something that's in God's will it has to be his steps not ours, his timing not ours. It's like I'm trying to do for God, for my furture, my friends, my family, and when we think like that we can over look the open doors right in front of us...I know for me I get so consumed with the epic end result that I over look the steps to get there. I seemed to forget that God has a perfect way for me to get there from right here! When God showed me that I realized that difficult is not impossible and took a big sigh if relief. I can do this...You can do this...WE can fulfill God's will for our lives. We just need to move our attention from the chaos around us and just focus on God...He has a plan he promised!
Be Blessed,
Koli

Prayer

2009-07-02T14:22:00.000-07:00

Lord-

I pray that the 7ish project continues to grow and reach people that are going through a hard time that need someone to talk to and pray with them Lord I pray that people are comfortable to open up to us I pray that the 7ish project helps people open there heart to Jesus and know Christ in Jesus name

Amen

Friendship

2009-06-21T00:37:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have learned a couple things. I've learned how to tie my shoes, learned how to do math in my head(still not very good at it), learned how to back out of a driveway using a mirror, and I've learned how to be a friend.

Some people grow up and never ever know how to be a true friend. There are different "Definitions" of a friend in the world. Some people think that a friend will tell you you look great in something when you clearly look horrible in it. Some think that a friend will help you take drugs, even bring them to you. Still others hold on to a friend that ratted them out when something wasn't even their fault.

Those are not definitions of friend.. That's loyalty. We feel loyal to those that we become "Friends" with, or maybe we feel loyal to them because they helped us out of a "sticky" situation and we're supposed to be their for them through everything!

The dictionary definition of a friend:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile

Friend is a noun but it takes a verb to be one!
Jesus was a friend, he showed us what a true friend is by Dying for us on a cross and taking our sins.

I've learned what a true friend is by reading and studying Jesus' life. He showed how to be a friend by telling people the truth. He wanted people to know the truth He didn't keep it from them. No matter how much it hurt someone or not matter how much it "offended" someone. Jesus didn't need to have the "title" of a friend to someone to care about them. Today for some reason we have to have titles. I'm your friend. I'm not your Friend. You're my best friend, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Doesn't mean that you love someone more or care for them more.

God called us to be friends to everyone! He didn't exactly single people out.

When I say that i'm friends with someone, it means I care about them unconditionally. It doesn't mean I hang out with them all the time. Thats' a highschool thought pattern. That we're friends because we hang out all the time. I don't agree with that, I never have.

I have friends all over the United States, Some of them I've never met face to face, However, I'm still their friend. I still want the best for them, I still pray for them and I still care about them. I don't need to live right down the street from someone to be friends with them. My best friends live 5 mins away, we don't hang out a lot and we don't really talk a lot but we know we love each other we know we're friends. We're friends because we "understand" that we're busy, we understand we have different lives. Would we like to hang out and talk more, of course! It's really just that simple we are friends because we are friends. It doesn't need to be renewed all the time or restated.

We place too much pressure on the people that we call friends. We expect them to be everything that we want them to be. When sometimes they can't be that. We want them to have all the answers for us. If we diddn't hold the people that we consider friends so high... we'd get frustrated with them less.

Being a friend means. You stand up for them when they are right. You're there for them no matter when. Forgive them for the little things that they've done to you. People make mistakes, why hold others more accountable, than you hold yourself?
Are YOU a good friend? IF not... why do you hold grudges on those who aren't either.

BTW:
A REAL friend will tell you that you do not look great in that outfit WHY? so that you go change and can look great just in case the guy that God wants you to marry.. SEES YOU!

Friends don't bring you to a party when your underage and make you drink? WHY? because they are supposed to care about you and your future and they'd want you to be able to be ALL you can be!

If a friend is LOW enough to blame something on you that they did. Well i can't really explain that any more!
Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

beauty is in the eye of the status updater

2009-06-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!!

The other day there was a status update that really caught my eye...
it said:

"Detachment is what allows us to so easily not care for our neighbor and attachment allows us to understand and meet the needs of those around us."****

It started me thinking that the times i feel detached from people, whether it be close friends or just people in general, are times that i am detached from God.

When there is something in my life that i feel bad about i pull away from God and from others.
Often i can slowly pull away from others without much notice. That is unless it is someone that knows me all too well. Then they will ask what is going on... when that happens i can either still try to hide what is going on or share my burden with them.
The thing is if it is a burden that i have brought on myself by going against what i know in my heart to be right, then it is often harder to let others know. i can continue to hide it from others, even when asked... but i can't hide it from God.

i went through one of these times about 2 years ago and when i finally realized that i had to tell the person i had wronged it was almost unbearable. i knew that once i told them that i would be able to eat and sleep again. It would feel so good to get it out in the open, but i also knew that the person would be angry and hurt. My actions were completely hidden from them at this time, so they were going to be pretty much in shock. But my conscience wouldn't let me hide it anymore. It was slowly eating me up inside.
i bought a book by John Piper called "When You Don't Desire God." But i knew that if i read it that i would have to change things in my life and i wasn't ready to let go of things and do what i knew i needed to. i still wanted to try to handle things my own way and pushed God aside...

While dealing with all this i was working and trying my best to hide my distress from all around me.
i withdrew the best i could hoping it wasn't too noticeable.
But as i said there are those friends who know us and love us enough to ask.
We were on the playground and i was walking around trying to keep my mind off what i was going to have to do... i had already decided that i had to talk to the person i had wronged but was struggling with the how and when. i was so fearful that my life as i knew it would be over.

One of my friends looked at me and asked "Are you okay?"
Oh no! Someone noticed... my emotions started to overwhelm me... i knew i was about to lose it, but i just nodded my head yes anyway.
She said " oh Kim"... she said those two words with so much love in her voice that i couldn't stand it.

We lined up the kids and she followed me to my room.
We watched the kids play and when i was ready i explained what was going on.
She totally understood.. she had been through the same thing and as we talked i felt a weight lift.
She reassured me that things would be rough, but not as bad as i thought.
God had used a friend that i didn't work that closely with any more, but yet she knew me so well.
God strengthened me through talking with her. i finally had peace about what i had to do and actually slept that night!

This may seem odd to some but when i have to tell someone something very serious i can write it down easier than trying to speak to them audibly. i know that if i have to speak that i will be overtaken by emotion and never get through it. The last thing i want is for them to think i am looking for sympathy or trying to get them to "take it easy" on me.

God had been working in me to change.
Well, once everything was out in the open God really started to work on this person.
Yes they were angry but mostly hurt.
God worked everything out and things are better than ever.

Over the past 9 months or so God has sent some amazing people my way through myspace and facebook and i have had the blessing of speaking with some on the phone and being able to meet some of them in person. Others i still haven't spoken with personally or met them but it in no way diminishes the way God has used them to change my life.

God has used several of these people to teach me the importance of reaching out to others and have helped me to strengthen the relationships in my life. They have played a bigger role than they can ever imagine.

i am so thankful for all my friends that have been there for me over the years and for these new friends that He has brought into my life for such a time as this.

We are to love God and love our neighbor... we can't do this if we are detached from God.
The more we seek God and strengthen our attachment to Him... the more He can use us to show His love to others.

""Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
By this the love of God is manifested in us, That God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him." 1 John 4:7-9

i have heard before that we can either respond or react to God and others.
Responding is positive. Say you are sick and you are given medicine.....
If your body responds to the medicine then that is good.
If your body reacts to the medicine then that is bad.

We have to decide if we are going to respond to God and others or react to them.

God amazes me...may i never cease to be amazed!!
big hugs and high 5's!!
your friend,
:o)kimberly

*****Yes it was one of Isaac's. i haven't mentioned him in a blog in awhile.
When i found he was on facebook i thought "oh i don't need to post his blogs/thoughts because everyone can see it" ... well not all my friends on facebook are familiar with him so from time to time i'll be sharing some things from him.
i still think he is one of the most awesome people ever!
God has used him to make a huge impact on my life.
i am very blessed to call him my friend and my brother in Christ!

Just a thought

2009-06-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

There are some people that go around with a smile on ther face and being happy. But the truth is deep down there sad and lonley and don't know what to do with themselves because of how bad they feel inside. This could be a sign of depression. Depression is not a fun thing to deal with at all. The feelings that go on in your mind and the way you feel in your body is sometimes hard to explain because you don't know why you feel the way you do. The best thing to do is talk to someone when you feel this way. Also Pray that God takes the feelings away. Remeber that you are not alone and there are other people that feel the way that you may be feeling. Depresion can bring you down not onley mentaly but spirtualy. God can help you get through it. I know it can seem pretty lame giving everything over to God and trusting in him. But I know from experiance that it works. I been overcomming depresion a lil more every day. I put my trust in the Lord and ask for his guideness. When you do that he will help you. you still have to do your part and listen to what he has to say to you but he will help you. God loves you no matter what has happend in your life. you may of done something horribale and something your ashamed of but that doesn't matter all you have to do is pray for forgivness and God will meet you with open arms. God created you and me to love him and to be his children. God doesn't make people hate he makes them to love them. God can do so much in your life if you just trust him. he has done so much in my life he has blessed me with a wounderfull family that loves me with all there heart and he has blessed me with wounderfull friends that are there for me. We may never see God in person but if you look closeley you can see him in people. Look at a homeless person on the corner of the street and you can see God deep in his heart. Look in the eyes of a lil orphane child and you will see Gods love shining through. God is the creater of the world and God makes buitfull things to put in the world. So why wouldn't God want to help you overcome something that is hurtting you. God doesn't like seeing his children hurt.

prayer blog 2

2009-06-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!!
Recently i wrote a blog on prayer. My main purpose in that was to encourage people to pray often. Even if it was just lifting up a quick prayer for someone God lays on your heart. To realize that prayer doesn't have to be a long thing... just from the heart.
There is something else that i feel needs to be said..something that i failed to mention.

One on one communication with God is very important. Yes you can lift up a prayer no matter where you are as the noisy world is going on around you. You may be able to tune those things out... but there is still a chance for interruption.
i have a 30 minute drive to work and back home everyday. These are some of the most valuable times in prayer for me . i am the only one in the car and i can talk out loud if i want.

Yes God knows what we need even before we ask. Before it is even a thought in our brains... He knows!!
So then why do we pray? When God already knows our hopes, dreams, fears, needs, wants, etc... why do we go to Him?
Because prayer is not for God to know us better, but for us to know God better...
By voicing our hopes, dreams, fears, needs, etc.... we put our trust in Him.
We are acknowledging to ourselves that God is in ultimate control. We aren't giving Him control... He already has it! But we are willingly submitting to Him. All this is for our benefit so that we realize in our minds that He is sovereign.

When we pray we are communicating with God. He communicates with us everyday through the beauty of His creation.
In Romans 1:20 it says " For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that we are without excuse."

When we pray we feel closer to God and we learn more about Him... His character, mercy, grace , and love. We learn these things as we put our trust in Him and then see how He moves in our lives. There are many times that i have looked back and seen God's hand in my life. As prayer has become more a part of my life i can often see God's hand in things as they are happening. i stand in amazement and awe of what he has been doing recently in my life and in the lives of some of my friends.
The more i have been faithful to communicate one on one with God the more i have been able to see what He is doing ... i am more aware of who He is. Prayer has definitely strengthened my relationship with God and draws me closer to an understanding of who He truly is.
So whether it is a quiet uninterrupted time or the chaos of the world is going on around me i can pray and know that He hears me, but i hear Him better when it is just God and me.
i would encourage everyone to write down some things that you are praying for and see how God works.When you go back and look at it later it will help you remember what you were going through at the time and let you see how God has worked in those situations.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

God amazes me...may i never cease to be amazed!!
Big hugs and high 5's!
your friend,
:o)kimberly

Need bloogers

2009-06-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

Do you have a message?
something that you think others would benefit from reading?

let me know.. go to the 7ish myspace, look around and if you feel lead to help out send us a message on the myspace

www.myspace.com/7ishproject

:)
Chris

people talk talk!

2009-06-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

okay.. so... this blog is about people that don't know you yet talk about you like they do! So most of you know who I am because I run the Vinners Promo Fan Site for FF5. I mean it's not like I hide from it! lol. I started that site only because I was so excited to see the Olds brothers still doing music. there really was no other reason. I never thought it would get this big. There really wasn't any other FF5 sites promoting them, their music, solis' stuff, or their concerts so I stepped up and started promoting. I also search the internet for things that we can nominate them for to vote for and have them win! To make head way in the music industry and get them noticed.. I did that with the top rock thing nominated them and they won three things because of The Vinners! I have been fortunate enough to meet the guys and become pretty close to them. not like... BEST BEST BEST friends.. but lets just say, I got their backs... and they'd have mine if needed. The whole reason for The Vinners isn't to exploit them its' to help them. We're not just a "fan site" but I try to be as fan oriented as possible. The guys love the site and they appreciate what i've done.

I don't like being told negative things about me or my fan site. I am 28 it's more of a hobby for me and since i've been doing it for 2 years it's sort of 2nd nature to add friends when i'm watching one of my shows or answer messages back(which I do)

When you're friends with someone you want to see their dreams come true. I'm 20000% behind whatever they do. I've never claimed to be closer to them than i am. I don't appreciate going behind my back and talking about me to other fans.. Just so you guys know.. A lot of FF5's core fans.. I know! be careful who you talk too... I've been there for a lot of these girls and guys. I don't tell people their business.

If you've never talked to me you have no clue why I do what I do. Its' not just about FF5. It's about being there for you guys when you feel no one else is there! I've prayed with many a "fan" and talked them through things that have since been resolved.

I know who Christ has made me. I know the gifts I have. To let someone that i've never talked to get under my skin is an attack! It's direct from the Devil.. To make me try to second guess who God has made me. I'm a geniune person. When I like something I like it! I wear my emotions on my sleeve. It's who I am.

For someone to talk horrible about you and not know your story and for us to get so upset is so weird and funny to me! They know nothing about us yet their opinion of us means so much that we let it sink in and poison our thoughts about ourselves.. OR Gods' thought about ourselves. Thinking' they know you and you'll only waste your breath trying to tell them the truth. It's all so silly to me. But the bottom line is.. if they're telling you about yourself they are certainly telling others. And thats' what gets me!

I guess my point is... if someone is telling you something about someone else... that's negative no matter what it is.. Consider your source!!!!! Have they done it to you before? Are they the kind of person to make someone else look bad so they look better? DO they KNOW that person on a personal level? Or have they seen something online and taken off with it.

Guys... Myspace, facebook, twitter, blogger...etc accounts don't tell you what a person is TOTALLY and WHOLLY about!! So if you know that about yourself why would you assume that's what someone else is?!

The most important person in my life Is Jesus Christ. He has done way too much for me to hold something else higher than Him. If he told me to walk away from FF5.. I would. My close friends and family wouldn't doubt that for a minute. Believe me i've walked away from things before because it wasn't where God wanted me. But for this season, for right now.. i'm here for you guys. This is my stepping stone to the ministry that I've dreamed of for almost 8 years.

Love all of you
Chris

Lesbian?

2009-05-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure how to start this one.. I know this is going to be very controversial.. and some of you are going to most likely get disgusted with me.. but hey.. it's kewl!! This is what I WENT through. What I LEARNED during a time I really didn't know who I was.

In 2002 I had so many things going on in my Christian life, I was helping build a church, making amazing new friends, and realizing that I had the gift of prophecy. God was putting "my guy" on my heart alot. I prayed for him a lot that year, who ever it was/is. God showed me things about the guy of my future that I wrote down, dated, and kept. Life was good. I moved out of my brothers house and lived on my own for a year. That's where everything went down hill. I lived over this guy who was a nazi. He was into all hitler stuff and it scared the heebie jeebies out of me. I started getting stalked not only by him but by other guys. nothing too too dangerous but it was unsettling. Guys came and went. I didn't really fall for any of them. I got torn apart by the first guy I actually fell for. It took me two years to get over that guy, but I finally did. During the year I lived on my own I started walking away from God. I didn't want anything to do with Him. The person that God was promising me was NOT in my life and I started thinking that maybe I was crazy and hearing things. So I put all my "prophecies" for me and him away.

I also put my hope in finding a guy away. I tunred to well.. Girls. I felt that since so many guys had treated me horrible, maybe I wasn't supposed to be with a guy. Maybe girls were it! Besides I'd been flirted with by more girls than guys so.. i started to actually believe that was where I was supposed to go. I totally turned my back on guys.

I was hurt and in this pit of where I just wanted someone to be with me. I wanted someone to love, someone to protect, someone to be there for.

In the back of my head I would hear the word of God whre God is speaking to Moses, "Do not lie with a man like a woman does. It is detestable." I was struggling so much with where my flesh wanted to go with what my heart and head knew about God. I pushed everything I knew about God away and kept to what I wanted. I didn't get a girlfriend though. I didn't date any females. But I struggled with it and at one point I really thought that's where I should go. I knew God would still love me. I also knew He wouldn't be able to bless me the way he wanted to if I followed the lie that Satan was feeding me.

Essentially what Satan was doing was trying to get me off the path that God wanted for me. It may not seem that way to those of you struggling but. If it's against the Bible and you're going that direction, You're not going to be blessed by God for doing it! The lie was that no Guy would ever love me, nor could he ever love me. I was settling for something that wasn't Gods' best for my life. We get our emotions mixed up, We tell our selves something and go for it not realizing that its NOT Gods' best for us. God lets us go through these things to show us things, to teach us.

Free will is tricky. God has given all of us free will to do and say the things we want to. God loves us, so he lets us do what WE THINK is best for us, what WE THINK we need. To let us learn from our mistakes.

I backed out.. I didn't see God bringing forth the promises he toldme in 2002. I was impatient! So I! walked away from God. IT was ALL ME. I was miserable during the 3 years I didn't want anything to do with God, or other guys for that matter.

Being a lesbian or being gay is very much against God it's against his Holy nature! It doesn't mean He doesn't love you any more. It means it's unholy. Just the same swearing, speaking vulgar, judging, murder, and other things are unholy. We NEED to rememeber and get it through our heads that God is HOLY! He's not our buddy.. he's not the guy down the street that seems perfect. He IS perfect. He sees everything that is against Him as unholy. If it doesn't glorify Christ/God it's not Him.

You know how when you were little your parents would say I know what's best for you! They meet a friend of yours and you're the best of friends! Your parents see something else in that person and tell you, they're not right for you. You argue with them until one day.. that friend totally turns their back on you and treats you like dirt! Well God.. knows more about everyone and everything than your earthly parents do and they were right....

He created Adam and Eve and I know it's cliche, but if there were supposed to be choices He would've created three different sets of couples in the beginning. A logic that I had to deal with through all this. And don't try to tell me that I'm wrong. I know my decision is correct, I still struggle with it, because i'm a mere human being. But my choice is Gods' choice and I can wait while he prepares my husband. He created one man for one woman, back in the beginning, so why would that change now?! Remember the Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God is pretty clear cut He doesn't let us "guess" at what's right and what's not. He says it in the Word (in the old and new testaments). Lets put it this way, If Jesus spoke against it... It's unholy!

You may be going through something similiar. And honestly you may have given up and think you're supposed to take the path that I tried to take, but honestly God has sooo much better out there for you! I worked for a lesbian couple, they faught, and their views on things were totally different. They didn't have one thing in common. I think we try to make the person we like be "the one" or settle for someone we know is'n't the best for us because we don't trust in what God has for us.

This isn't to judge anyone. This is my feelings.. what I went through.

God has something planned for all of us! (Jeremiah 29:11) He doesn't HATE you for the decisions you make, even if they're not biblical. Understand that Satan does exist and he does ruin things for us. He steals things away from us and he tries to make us believe lies that well destroy who we are. If we don't stick it out and wait for Gods' best in any situation, we'll never know how happy we really could've been. I'm still waiting for Gods' best, but you know how much I'm learning about myself through this time! Do you realize how much closer to God i've become?! How much more I understand His love for me. I apologize if I'm upsetting some of you but the truth is, GOD HAS BETTER FOR YOU! THAN YOU have for yourself! His plans are flawless.. And he loves you no matter who you want to be...

It's sort of like you don't agree with something one of your friends like or believe but you still like them anyway.. That's God! Even if I were to take that path, God would still have loved me as much as he did and does. There is nothing that can separate us from the Love of God. But maybe it's time to start trusting that God has the best for you trust that He knows what He's doing and wait on the things that God wants to give you. God loves You.. God likes you..and He accepts you just the way YOU ARE!

Chris.

Prayer blog 1

2009-05-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

As you will no doubt notice i wrote this awhile back....
When Chris asked me to help out with her project i decided this might be a good first blog to share.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

To pray or not to pray....
Current mood:Pondering....
Category: Life

Hey guys!
i have had so much on my mind lately. With me having to actually use sick time the last two weeks i have had alot of time to reflect on and ponder a few things... i have really slacked off on my blogs...
Not that they really are of much use except to me. Writing is very therapeutic and i also find that if i write it down i remember it!
i'm going to share several blogs.... not try to put them all in one just because as my friends know... i can get a little random and carried away once i get started.

So first of all i have been thinking about prayer alot for the last several months. It is so important and yet at times i find that i would tell someone that i would pray for them and then fail to. i have a question concerning that...
When that person returns and says "thank you so much for your prayers!"
What do YOU do if you have forgotten to pray for them? i have learned that it is best to humble yourself and tell them " i am so sorry but i forgot"
They will usually look at you with bewilderment, because most people will not admit to that.
Something that has stood out in my mind for years is a dear friend named Beverley Allen. Her daughter and i were best friends during Jr, High and High School and got into alot of trouble together.
Nevertheless... Mrs. Bev believed in me, even though she knew me all too well. But she also knew of my home life and the struggles there. She hired me at the Daycare when i was sure she would think about my past and hold those things against me.
By her example she showed me what grace meant... she showed me the love of Jesus when i thought it was undeserved.
Well, one day i saw her in the hall at work and asked her if she would pray about something for me... i don't even remember what it was about, but i do remember what she did! She stopped right there in the middle of the hall and prayed with me. i had never had anyone do that before and it made a lasting impression.
i know that not everyone is comfortable doing that, but you can let people know you are sincere when you tell them you will pray for them....

You can write it down and give it to them.
Since i have been on myspace and facebook i have learned to do this through messages. Make sure you have the right motive behind it.
You shouldn't do it to get anything in return. If you are writing to a favorite band you have to remember they are very busy at times.
Do not get frustrated if you don't hear anything back. That is not why you should be doing it in the first place.
Praying is out of true love and concern for others and to bring glory to God not to bring honor to yourself.
Sorry i had to say that because we are only human ...we sometimes have misplaced motives. Me included...
The only reason i share with someone what i am praying for them is so that they know i'm not just saying "i'm praying for you" but so they know i am sincere.
i have learned that if i realize my motives aren't right to just delete it.

Ask people to share prayer requests with you... just what they feel comfortable with.
The most IMPORTANT THING to remember is that when someone shares a personal prayer request with you... it should go NO FURTHER!!!
No one else NEEDS to know!!!
If the person tells you that you can share it then that is okay, but unless they specifically give you permission do not repeat it.
Not even to their other friends! Friends don't know everything about each other and that is okay....
Prayer is such an important part of our lives as a Christian but so many times we fail to do it.
i think one thing that keeps people from praying more is thinking there are certain things that must be said. God knows your heart. He doesn't have to hear certain words to make it "official".
Also prayer doesn't have to be planned.
It doesn't have to be long. Sure there are times you might set aside a time to pray for specific things. But for me... more often than not when someone comes to mind i just say a prayer for them right then. God knows what that person needs even if you don't.
So pray with that in mind... with knowing that God knows what we need before we even ask, and that He truly gives us what is best for us.
The quantity of words doesn't matter it's the heart felt prayer that means the most. The more you pray throughout the day the more it becomes second nature. It doesn't have to be out loud God knows our thoughts!

i am not claiming to know everything about prayer.... these are just some things that have helped me to pray more. It has made a really big difference in my life.

God amazes me... may i never cease to be amazed!!
big hugs and high 5's!!
your friend,
:)kimberly

Saras' Testimony

2009-05-19T00:39:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking alot latley on how good my life is compaired to other peoples in the world. There is so much to be thankfull for. There are people that struggle everyday with life. Some people think there not good enough for God because they have chosen a wrong path at some point of there life and got into stuff they shouldn't of. Things like drugs and alchal abuse. Some people have done things they are not proude of and are ashamed of and are afraid that God will never forgive them and they have lost there chance of having a relationship with Jesus. I have gone through a time where I didn't think I could be loved by Jesus. I felt ashamed of things I have done in my past and the mistakes I have made in my life. I had a friend that had a wounderfull relationship with Christ. She would tell me how wounderfull Jesus is and how God had blessed her with so many things. I wasn't sure if everything she was telling me was true or not so I pushed the things she was saying away from my every day thoughts. Later on down the road she had invinted me to go see Billy Grahm with her and her family and DC Talk was going to be there. I never heard of them before so I didn't really want to go but my Mom had made me go. So on the way to the way to see Billy Grahm and DC talk my friend was telling me all about the band and how they loved Jesus. I just shruged off like no big deal. when the time DC talk come on the stage and they started to sign I could feel a comfort come over me it was a strange type of comfort that scared me a lil because I had no idea what it was that was comeing over me. I wound up getting one of there albums at the show and when I got home I put it in. when the cd started playing I felt strange like something was trying to change the way I felt it was hard to explain excatley what it was that I was feeling. I got freaked out and took the cd out and put it behind my other cd's. I forgot about the album that was sitting there and a few years later I meet someone on myspace that was a Christian that loved the Lord with all his heart and he was telling me how he let Jesus in his heart and how blessed and happy he was that had done that. It got me thinking about who Jesus was and what he stood for. I went to my shelf and dusted off my dc talk cd and put it in and really listend to the lyrics and decided to look up meaning to some of the words and what they where trying to say in there music. a few months later I went to a Disciple concert and the lead vocalist was talking about how Jesus forgives us for our sins and he loves us and how God loves us for who we are and that we shouldn't be scared of what he can do in our lifes. Something clicked that night and I decided to open my heart to Jesus and every since that day I have been happier then I ever have been and i'm learing so much about Jesus every day. When I met Chris she told me the best way to find out the truth about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ was to pick up the Bible and start reading it and ask questions and don't be ashamed of loving him and having a relationship with him. I have to say I picked up my Bible that day and have not stopped reading it. It truly helps to understand God and how he created us to love him and to be loved by him. So when you start to feel down and alone remeber that you never are alone that God is there and all you have to do is speak to him and he will hear you. You may never get a answer when you would like one but he hears you and will bless you with many wounderfull things. I hope this blog has helpped some of you realize that just because you made a mistake in the past does not mean you cannot have a relationship with God.

God bless,

-sara-

So.. you like a guy and he's not liking you back?

2009-05-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

That's a truly hard thing to go through. There is so much we could talk about on this subject but i'm going to keep it too a minimum.

Liking a guy, Lusting after a guy and Loving a guy are 3 very different things although they can be intertwined.

So this blog is going to be about seperating the three. And knowing when they should go together.

Lust is an intense longing after something that is not ours.
Love is an affection or loyalty towards someone/something.
Like is enjoying someone.

So you've seen a guy, you think he's "good looking." That's all your basing your "liking" a guy on. All that means is you "like" what you see. We actually haven't stepped into lust yet because well you walked away. Just thought the person was good looking.

Later you see that guy again and start thinking what it would be like to be with him, to date him, he's gorgeous and you just want to be with him, you can't wait you have to have what you see. You walk away thinking/longing about that person more and more and more every day, there is no way they wouldn't be yours that's it. you like them so they're yours. Honey, you just turned your liking someones' looks(attraction) into lust.

You can actually think someone is attractive and not lust after them. A shocker I know but it's true. We can love someone that we are attracted to though, so there is hope.

Liking someone is totally different then both of those but you have to like someone in order to "fall" in love with them. Liking someone is enjoying them being around. If you don't enjoy their company you don't like them... you love them. You're definitely not "In Love" with them. Don't mistake being "in lust" with someone for "in love."

Lust is more of a "feeling" and a "longing" for, I want it because it "looks" good. Note: sin looks good too (lust for someone-in any form-is adultry). Love is more of an "As a Matter of Fact" It's an action. It's not just a feeling. It just is. We "Love" our family members (we don't lust after them) and sometimes we don't "like" them. But we love them. God loves us and we're supposed to love God. How we do that is by "showing" Gods' love. Love is letting some one go when they're not holding on to you. Letting that person be who they want to be but being there for them when they find out they want to be someone else. When you say I love you, you're telling a person I'll be there for you no matter what. EVEN if you don't "like" them(being a true friend)

Being "in love" with someone acquires all three of these, except the lust. How can I explain being okay with intimacy(private, personal) without lust being involved. I'll explain it this way. I was sexually abused. I didn't want any guys touching me no matter who they were. I flinch when any guys touch me, it doesn't matter who they are. UNLESS I trust them. When I was finally "comfortable" around someone I realized I wouldn't mind being with that person. It wasn't lust it was an unexpected comfortableness with being intimate with that person. (however if I think/long to much about being "okay" with it- it does become lustful) In Love is truly liking, loving, and being comfortable with being intimate with that person. I feel that in order to be fully in love with someone the other person has to feel that way about you too.

If a guy is not liking you back. It doesn't mean you're a horrible person. It means the guy isn't the guy for you. Sift through what you're "feeling" is it like, love, or lust? is it all three together? Is it really none of those at all? There is rare times that the guy doesn't see how much he really likes you. These are times to be patient with him, pray about the situation. Don't go praying "Lord, help him to fall in love with me." We don't want to be speaking things over someones life that isn't for them. But you can pray that God shows both of you His will no matter what it is.

Last point.. Guard your Hearts!! That doesn't mean don't fall for someone or don't try giving your heart to someone. It means to make sure that your heart is in Christ. Make sure that you are praying all the time for the situation, for you, for your future mate(no matter who it is). For God to prepare you for whatever/whoever is coming. If you're falling for someone and you're not praying for it don't yell at God when it doesn't happen. You let yourself fall without putting your heart where it should be in the first place and that's In Love with our first love.

Jesus!

Be Radiators,
Chris

What is this Ministry/Project About?!

2009-05-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

the 7 is said to be the number of Completeness... the number 8 is said to be the number of "New Beginnings" we're on the edge of the 7 and the 8 we're not yet complete and the people that come to us are trying to get to the point we're they can begin again. The thing is we're not complete without Christ (Ephesians 1:10, I Corinthians 8:6, John 1:3, and 2 Corinthians 5:17) We undestand this but sometimes things come into our lives and happen to us that We do not see God in. Such as rape, abuse, or other things that happen to people. In this ministry/project my mission is to show the youth that even if they're going through something God is still with them. God STILL loves them. We take a problem that people are having, they talk to us about it and we break it down to one... make it easier for the person to deal with. 2.. to see what the bigger problem is. and 3 to find a solution for each problem.. The one thing we are not going to do is Bible beat people... If you're talking to someone that doesn't seem like a Christian DO NOT!! do NOT try to slap God in their face every 5 mins.. We are here to show Gods' love if you ask someone to pray with them and they decline.. it's fine.. we'll pray about them on our own time and in Prayer Force on Saturdays'.

Directing people to a proper solution will be our goal.

The one thing I want people to realize about us is that we're all real people and we all go through things that make us question who we are and who God is. So that's the reason for the Blogs.

Our Salvation

2009-05-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

Question 1
Can you Ever lose your Salvation?

Technically no you can not lose salvation. Since when you receive Jesus and accept Him as your Lord and Saviour. Salvation comes From God. If you have sincerly accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour He will send the Holy Spirit to help you and guide you in making godly decisions. Even though we falter and fall every single day. That does not mean we have lost our salvation.

The only way to truly lose your salvation... is by totally renouncing God. OR... by not truly accepting salvation to begin with.

More">http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LndpbGxvd3NwcmluZ2NodXJjaC5vcmcvc2l0ZS9kYnBhZ2UuYXNwP3BhZ2VfaWQ9NDIwNCZzZWNfaWQ9MjgzNA==">More In Depth Study on that question

Insecurity and Confidence

2009-05-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Question: Maybe insecurity or lack of confidence.
I struggle with those issues but not like I used to,
it was bad but God is helping me.

What does God say about insecurity and confidence?

God is our security.... That is hard for a lot of us to grasp. I have learned just recently that not
everything you're feeling is the truth of what God is and what God wants you to be. The best way to bring up your
self confidence is to realize your weaknesses and your strengths and to expand on your strengths and not worry
about your weaknesses.

Let me explain:

When you are so focused on wanting to make your weaknesses better you'll become frustrated since God most likely
made your weakness a weakness for a reason (like.. your future husband/wife is going to compliment that weakness
but it being their strength) God gives us certain gifts for us to realize them and to grow them. Growing our stregths
helps us to be more confident in the fact that God knows what He's doing, trusting that we have those strengths for
a future reason.

Building up your strengths is a part of building up your confidence. But the confidence we build up should be
in Christ (God) not in ourselves. He after all gave us the gifts, when we start trusting in ourselves to build
our self confidence we take away the trust we're supposed to give to God and it screws up our thoughts of ourselves.
The Bible tells us the foolish trust in themselves and they will perish:
Psalm 49: 12-13
12 But man, despite his riches, does not endure;
he is c]" class="footnote">[c] like the beasts that perish.

13 This is the fate of those who trust in themselves,
and of their followers, who approve their sayings.
Selah.

when we trust in God and trust that he will bring us confidence when we need it most our confidence in GOD will grow therefore our confidence in who we are is going to grow. When we realize who God has made us and why He formed us the way we are confidence is automatically going to grow because we know who we are.

Insecurity sort of goes with confidence.. Feeling secure is something that Satan will take away from you every day. this has to do with self esteem and not knowing who you are and Can be in Christ. confidence and security are both feelings that we take to levels we shouldn't. Feeling something or not feeling something doesn't necassarily mean it's the truth. Not realizing the security of God will allow Fear to creep in.

Praying constantly for God to comfort you is a great thing for you to do. The Holy Spirit is after all our comforter.

The truth is no matter what:

When we receive Christ.. HE is our security... realizing that will take time.. it takes continueing to speak the positive "confessions" the truths that God has given us in the Bible until we truly believe it. here are a couple promises God has given us:

When I am afraid, I will trust in you.In God whose words I praise.

Psalms 56:3,4

Psalm 18:1-2 NIV

I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 31:23-24 The Message

Love God, all you saints;
God takes care of all who stay close to him,
But he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone.
Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon.

Psalm 119:114 NIV

You are my refuge and my shield;
I have put my hope in your word.

1 Peter 5:7 NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

God Loves you!
Don't let Satan lie to you about who you are in Christ.

Your self confidence will lie to you.. God won't..
God is our confidence and our security

Chris.

Xmas or Christmas

2008-12-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

Should I spell Christmas with an X?

In today's society people are really easy to offend.I'm beginning to think that when you get
offended by something, you may not know much about it! Like for instance when you're trying to joke
around with someone and they get offended by what you just said! MAYBE it's because that person
doesn't know Squat about you.

Did you know that X when used to replace the Christ in Christmas, actually means Christ?!

Lets go through how that's possible for the slow "legalistical" uneducated ones. (sorry that was mean lol)

The english letter X is actually the transliteration of the Greek letter for the same X= "Chi."
So the greek spelling for Christ is- Χριστός (Khristós) meaning "the anointed". X is the english
sort of abreviation for the actual Greek word.

So before jumping down someones throat about taking the Christ out of Christmas.. maybe we should
actually study something first! Also.. the fact that Jesus was ACTUALLY not born in december may
be something else people need to go in depth about. When the Kings got to where Jesus lay, it changes
speaking of a baby into speaking about a Child. A small clue yes, but get in depth about it and you'll
see that we celebrate Jesus' birthday WAAAY LATE haha.

And may I just say, Don't worry about others taking the Christ out of Christmas,, worry about YOU taking
the Christ out of your whole LIFE!!!

SOOO by all means...

Kala Xristougenna (greek for Merry Christmas) ;)

This ones written by Deb

2008-09-09T20:19:00.000-07:00

turning to God everyday
Current mood: calm
As I sit here anxiously awaiting the birth of my first baby I keep thinking about all the possibilities that lie ahead for me. Primarily I am thinking about all the pain that is going to be involved and worrying about whether I am going to be a good parent. It was suddenly at work today that I realized I was turning to everyone else about things, such as how was your labor? what did you go through? reading all the magazines and searching online......

I realized that I had a fear. And most people have this fear in some way. It's the fear of the unknown and the fear of things beyond our control. Most people have this in the form of death, because when and how we die is truly beyond our control. And we all know where fear comes from! Certainly not God!

The point that I am trying to make here is that we are presented with fear of the unknown everyday. For me this is the fear of the birth and becoming a parent. Now I do follow God everyday but even this sneaks in for me. None of us are perfect. Included with the fear of an even uncomplicated birth is the fear that something will go wrong or something will be wrong with the baby. Even more on top of that is how I will be as a parent throughout this little ones life.

But today I made a change. I realized I was living and letting all these fears get to me. I realized that some of the things I was worried about were out of my control and I had to let go and let God take care of things. I understand that God loves me and wants the best for me. If I stay in his path and follow his ways I will be the parent he wants me to be for my little one. If I turn to him instead of all these outside voices I am calmed by the fact that He knows all and can lead me to where he wants me as well as my family to go to.

So today at work in the closet I turned my face to heaven and prayed that I would stop listening to these outside voices and start truly listening to God about this situation. I also prayed for the labor He wants me to have and that I know He will be there with me. God gave me such peace about this that I wanted to share it with everyone because I realize we all have those days (weeks, months) of worrying about things beyond our control. We just have to be reminded that we are in good hands and thank God everyday! Hope this shows someone else some peace tonight as well!

Deb

Is Suicide the Answer?

2008-08-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Ever?

(read the whole thing before you say anything ;)

I just read something that I wrote a couple years ago about not wanting to live anymore.. sooo ..I know some of you, not all of you know my testimony, and know how I grew up.

No my life was NOT totally unbearable, nor was i addicted to drugs at any time and lost myself in an addiction. Nor did I live on the streets at any time. But I still thought about suicide when I was growing up. MANY MANY times.

Growing up in a home that I did not feel safe in was difficult for me and even if it was a struggle. I had to realize that others had it worse then I did and needed help more then I saw fit to help me.

That all sounds so sad and lonely. I was sad and lonely. I really couldn't tell anyone what was happening to me, or so I thought. So I started telling God. Shouting at him yelling at him. "Why Me?"

I think when we are going through things we turn inward because we don't realize that someone else may have an answer for us. OR a way out! I turned inward and let Satan totally take control of my surroundings.

Let me explain what it means to let Satan take over...

It's sort of when you give in the the "negative" in life. You start feeling sad and give into depression, You choose paths that are going to destroy you in EVERY way possible. The Bible tells us that "...the enemy comes to kill steal and destroy." When we start turning into things like depression, and start acting on our jealousy... this is "causes" Satan can use. Commiting Suicide.. is destryoing your own life.. and others around you... so.. who do you think suicide would be an answer from?

Satan may not have control over your life, but he can still get in there and tell you lies... like

"I can't do that!"

or

"I'm not good enough for him/her. them. that calling."

Satan is a deciever and a manipulater. He's there to "scare" you out of a life with Christ. Falling into his ways is VERY dangerous to your Life In Christ.

When I was younger every single day (like i said above) I felt like the only way OUT for me was to kill myself. It would leave everyone without the burden of me. At the time I felt like no one cared for me or about me. Of course I never thought that it just SEEMED like they never cared about me.

They did.

and they still do.

when a person is on the verge of killing themselves, they show signs of it.. they let people know. But it's NEVER the answer, it's never the true answer and it IS NOT the will of God for anyones life.

If you think about it.. when you take your own life, you've in turn took a trust in yourself that YOU Know how to handle the problem you'll just totally avoid it.

When we have problems in life.. it's best (i don't like it) but it's best to take those problems head on! It WILL make you stronger when you finally do get over whatever HUMP is in your life, They may seem like BLOCKS more then a bump.

There is a praise/worship song called, "Beyond the Open Door." It's an AMAZING song. it goes...

"Beyond the open door. Is a new and fresh anointing. Hear the spirit calling. YOU TO COME!"

A BIble verse states, ".. seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened..."

That sort of ties in all together with the worship song. If we're seeking Christ, and knocking at the "door" (Jesus) The spirit of God WILL in turn lead us to the door that God opens for us.

WE can not get to that place until we are diligently in prayer and diligently seeking Him

Before you think about suicide, understand that it's a selfish act. and it is unneccassary. God prepares us for our trials we just have to be earnest enough and relying on God enough to seek the answers from Him.

I've learned this over the years. This isn't some REVELATION I got tonight.

Feeling alone and vulnerable because your going through something heart breaking is very very painful. but it's not the end for you!

So.. to answer my question

NO suicide is NEVER the answer

Seeking God is!

Chris

Bit of my Testimony

2008-01-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

bit about me
Current mood: accomplished

a little of my testimony
Current mood: impressed
Category: Life

I grew up with My biological brother Paul in a sexually abusive home. My adopted mother was oblivious to the fact that my adopted father was sexually abusing me. It's things like this that make children grow up to be bitter and destroyed. BUT I overcame these things with a little help from a couple things... Number one being Jesus Christ.. My Lord and Saviour.. The true Father!!!! What a REAL Father should be, loving, protective, caring, there for me. I learned who God was not from my parents but from two AMAZING BANDS!!!! yes you guys all think I'm nuts or something. but it's absolutely true.. Music can do AMAZING THINGS FOR YOU... if you let it, so my second thing was music...I grew up on DC Talk... and I'm VERY THANKFUL for the words of wisdom that came from their lyrics/music, and from the things they said.and did. They were older and much wiser then me in the ways of Christianity and Christ!!! They taught me a lot about Being Bold about my beliefs and about who I am as a Christian and a woman of Christ!!! I wasn't being taught how to be a true Christian at home..i wasn't being taught much of anything at home... The second band that REALLY played a huge part in my life through all those times.. was "The Brothers" (now Family Force 5)... Not only were they around my age.. but they knew Christ.. they knew about the spiritual of Him and understood God in a level above what I did at the time....Their lyrics were very comforting to me.. and saved me from such pain and hurt that was happening around me. I am VERY much alive because of this band and those three guys... they don't know it yet. but.. they really did save my life..I would literally sit in my room and listen to both of these bands and rely on there lyrics to get me through what was happening to me on the inside..No one around me knew the heartache i was going through (some knew but blew it off) the things that were happening on the inside was REALLY eating away at my soul..I didn't want to live anymore I didn't want to be me anymore I never did, there is nothing wrong with taking a cd/tape putting it in your radio/stereo listening to it and having it heal you. They were positive influences in my life...I'm a stronger woman now because of how music has touched my life.. maybe that's why I'm so drawn to musicians.. and how important they are to the world.. They're going to change the world. and they already have in many ways. I could never ever turn my back on ma boyz.. that is exactly what they are to me..I grew up with them in a sense...so don't step!! Music continues to touch my soul and my life. I think if it weren't for God bringing the music into my life that he brought into my life. I truly believe I WOULD not be here. I don't hold these guys up above who Christ is. and I never could. but I AM very grateful that God lead me to them.. It is very rare that something touches your life so deeply.. that you can not erase the pain and struggles it got your through, to those that music has NOT touched as deeply as it has touched me.. could/ and won't ever understand what it's like to have a band or two like this. I truly WISH and PRAY that someday.. i will be able to BLESS Toby, Michael, Kevin, Josh, Solomon, and Jacob as much as they have blessed my life...THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

~CHRIS~

www.myspace.com/diversecitygurl